Joseph Praisegod is the cook aboard the SS Stanton. He is devout and clever, though the meals he serves are bland and the portions he serves are carefully measured. Unusually for a cook, he is fairly thin.

Born into a Quaker family in Rhode Island, he still uses 'thee' as an ordinary pronoun and abides by the quaker code. His plain dress and sincere opposition to slavery recommended him to Sir von Wedel, even if his principled refusal to participate in acts of violence has led to a few late-night discussions below decks, when the Kindred was doing the rounds.

His commitment to teetotalism makes him a less popular choice for the position of Cook among the crew and certain passengers, as one of those late night discussions led to the Stanton being declared a 'Temperance Ship'. Carl von Wedel thought he had remembered a Biblical passage correctly and tried to wager the cook on it. Though the cook declined to partake in betting, he did turn out to be right about the passage in support of his teetotalism.

Although the sailors are being paid additional wages and alternative rations instead of a regular allowance of rum. Daniel Levy is happy to provide the crew with booze, for a small fee. Von Wedel is aware of this, seeing how the rum and other drinks are stored in the cargo bay, but he pretends not to notice and won't crack down if people avoid drinking in front of Joseph or wreck his own plausible deniability.