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Visiting someone at their nest to exchange information

Table of Contents

Calling upon someone is the social activity of visiting a friend at their home. These are intended to be short visits to exchange information and are used very much like phone calls in modern times.

Organization

Calling is not usually organized, but rather it is an expected part of being in a Social Circle. When you get introduced, or shortly thereafter, "Calling Cards" are exchanged. These cards list the name of the person and the address where they want to be called upon.

The Calling Card may also list times or days of the week when they can be called upon, especially for kindred who normally keep busy. If no times are listed, you should not call later than two hours past sundown.

A call should, ideally, take about fifteen minutes. Business that needs more time than this should be arranged separately as a different kind of meeting.

Missed Calls

Since calling on someone is not normally planned, and you may find the person you are calling on is absent, busy or otherwise unavailable. If you are visiting a nest, other members of the nest may receive you instead. In other cases, you can usually leave a message with one of the staff, or come back the next day. In either case, you may presume that the person you came for will be told of your visit.

In some cases, the staff may allow you to wait if the person you are calling on will be returning soon. You do not have to wait if you do not want to, but if the person you are calling on ranks significantly higher in the order of precedence, it is considered impolite not to do so when offered. Because of this, especially high ranking individuals usually instruct their staff not to offer, so as not to force a person to wait.

Social Customs

Being a common social event, certain customs have developed.

Clothing

Morning dress is worn when calling upon someone. For men, this means a morning coat, vest and striped or checkered trousers of some kind, with a hat of some kind. The hat is taken off when entering the residence of the one you are calling on.

For women it means a floor length gown with long sleeves and a high collar, worn with gloves and a bonnet or hat. Neither are taken off during the visit. Morning gowns should be of simple colours or patterns, and should be matte, rather than shiny.

If the weather is bad, both men and women may wear a cloak, which can of course be given off upon entering.

Special Customs

When a lady calls upon a gentleman, she should bring a friend with her. This goes whether she is married or not.

An unmarried gentleman who calls upon an unmarried lady should have a reason for the call that goes beyond a desire for meeting her. One common reason is to return a handkerchief she may have lost or to give thanks for something or another. Unmarried gentlemen cannot give gifts to unmarried ladies.

When another caller comes to visit, it is expected that the current visitor makes an excuse to leave and hurries up out of there.

It is inappropriate to call upon someone on Sundays, unless there is an emergency, or you are a priest.